Monday August 24, 2020
Brenton Tarrant, the gunman who shot and killed worshippers in the Christchurch mosque attacks, is seen during his sentencing at the High Court in Christchurch, New Zealand, August 24, 2020. John Kirk-Anderson/Pool via REUTERS
Widow Muhubo Ali Jama struggles to sleep at night.
She is haunted by the loss of her husband Muse Awale and the horrors she witnessed inside the Al Noor mosque on the day of the terror attack.
"I have lost my husband, my lifelong companion. I will never share the happiness we had again."
The widow is one of 12 people who have read out powerful and moving Victim Impact Statements during the first day of the sentencing of the Christchurch mosque attacks gunman.
Jama said she was born in Somalia but fled in 1991 and spent nine years in a refugee camp before coming to New Zealand.
She met Awale through Al Noor – and on March 15, 2019 drove her husband to the mosque.
They went into their separate areas – with Jama going into the women's prayer room.
When the shooting started, she hid with about eight other women.
Once shooting stopped, she went to look for her husband and saw bodies stacked on one another.
She saw one man holding his young child.
"I told him he was gone."
She then headed outside looking for Awale and found him lying outside in the carpark but there was nothing she could do help him. He was already gone.
"I sat down beside him and held him. I checked his eyes, his heart and his breathing. There was nothing."
She called out for someone to help but no one came. She stayed with his body until police arrived.
Although she was not physically injured, she told the court - where gunman Brenton Harrison Tarrant sat surrounded by security guards - she has been left mentally traumatised.
Abdiaziz Ali Jama – Muhubo's sister – was also in the mosque the day of the attack.
The 44-year-old Somalian was a refugee who made a new life in New Zealand with her family almost 30 years ago.
"I was at mosque with my brother-in-law and sister… I sat near my brother-in-law," she said.
"I heard a sound of shooting, I saw my brother-in-law being shot along with two other men. I ran from the mosque through a broken window into the rear carpark.
"I attempted to climb over a high wall… I ran and hid behind a car and a carpark until my sister came and found me.
While she was not injured physically in the attack – she too has still suffered immensely.
"I suffer from severe mental trauma," she said.
"I see the images….the sound of the gun shooting in my head. I see a lot of dead people. I have been frightened constantly at night.
"I hear a noise and go outside sometimes to look for the shooter.
"I will never forget what I saw that day, and be able to erase the memory from my mind."
She spoke of having to take medication to help her sleep and seeing her sister face life as a widow.
"Every day I see the sadness of my sister… he was such a big part of our lives and we are lost without him," she explained.
"Muse taught us about the Koran… I miss his friendship and his teaching."